love
Recently, I gave women advice on how to impress a man on a first date. Now for the follow-up: how to make sure he doesn’t disappear into thin air once he’s gotten laid—aka, the guide to a perfect first time. Once you’ve got the man back at your place and decided it’s time to get … Read more
For women who want to make a lasting impression on a man on a date. Don’t overthink it. Men are simple creatures, and most of them get excited about the same things. These will work on almost any man (and if they don’t, you can forget him immediately; he’s not the real deal). You’re guaranteed … Read more
My good friend John went on a date with a lady. John is a gentleman, so he paid for the coffee and pastries. On the second date, they went out to eat, and again John picked up the tab. The woman thanked him and said that next time, she would pay. For the third date, … Read more
A few days ago, while shopping, I saw a woman I instantly fell head over heels for. She was exactly the kind of woman I’ve always dreamed of. I can’t explain why, but I got the impression she’s very open-minded—and might even be up for something on the first date. For privacy reasons, I won’t … Read more
I’ve decided to offer one lucky single woman an unforgettable romantic weekend getaway to London early next year. Since there will no doubt be a flood of interested participants, a qualifying round will be held to ensure only the crème de la crème makes it through. The selection will be in three stages—three separate dates—each … Read more
I was reading my diary, reminiscing about old dates. There is one I’ll never forget: I’m really pissed off. Tinder. Do I need to say more? I’ll tell you anyway. I found a woman on Tinder. Pretty, nice, everything good. We decided to go on a date. Drinks at a local restaurant. I went a … Read more
From now on, I’m not going to talk about romantic things to them. I’m going to rely on science. When I get a woman to stay overnight, I wait until she’s asleep and then put a nicotine patch on her back. In the morning, before she wakes up, I remove it. After a couple weeks … Read more
My friend John had been thinking that it might be nice to get a little frisky with his wife, Jane, in the evening, so he decided to send her a romantic and slightly naughty message from work, wondering if he might get lucky tonight. He had read in some women’s magazine that it’s a good … Read more
One of my ex-wives had an annoying habit. Now and then, when I was watching TV in the evening, she kissed me on the cheek and said, “I’m going to bed.” And I mean around 9 pm! Usually, we went to bed around midnight. For at least an hour, when I was watching a movie, … Read more
I sat at the park when I saw an elderly couple nearby, having a picnic. The man was probably over 80, and the woman not much younger. They were sitting there on a blanket, feeding each other grapes, and drinking champagne. The man was whispering something to her ear, and the woman was giggling like … Read more
