TL;DR:
Becoming a member of the Dirty Old Man Blog gives you access to all sorts of extra goodies. More blog posts, exclusive podcast episodes and, of course, my eBooks. And every now and then, I might even reveal what the hell was going through my head when I wasn’t busy turning my questionable thoughts into stories.
There’s also a members-only discussion forum in the works – an intimate little meeting place where you can discuss the blog’s content, exchange ideas, share your thoughts or, if you prefer, trade insults with yours truly. I’m perfectly happy with either. In fact, the insults might be more entertaining.
Membership is handled through Patreon and works on a monthly subscription basis. No restrictions on how much you can read, listen to or enjoy during your membership. No complicated packages, no hidden nonsense. Just one modest monthly payment – roughly the price of a decent cup of coffee. Probably cheaper than therapy, too.
Almost all the content is available both on Patreon and on the blog, so you can use whichever platform takes your fancy. And if something happens to be a little too naughty for Patreon’s delicate sensibilities, you’ll find a link to it there anyway.
Just click the “members only” on the menu, or the link at the end of the blog posts.
And now, if you’re still interested, here’s the full sales pitch:
Welcome to the Dirty Old Man’s Club
Good stories, bad manners, questionable morals and absolutely no intention of growing up.
Welcome to the world of Dirty Old Man – a place for irreverent humour, outrageous stories, observations about women, dating, relationships, sex, ageing, and all the absurdities of everyday life.
This is not your average self-help blog. I won’t teach you how to become a better person, find your soulmate, or achieve inner peace. Frankly, I haven’t mastered any of those things myself.
Instead, you’ll find brutally honest opinions, embarrassing personal experiences, sarcastic observations, stories that may make you laugh out loud, and occasionally make you wonder whether I should be allowed near a keyboard.
Inspired by the unapologetic spirit of Charles Bukowski, Dirty Old Man is about saying what others are thinking but are too polite, too sensible, or too afraid to say out loud.
And while the blog itself is open to everyone, becoming a Patreon supporter gives you access to a rather more exclusive collection of literary misconduct.
Just to be clear: there is NO pornography here. Unless you consider a picture of a cunt who happens to write to be pornographic.
What do you get as a Patreon supporter?
1. The Dirty Old Man Podcast – Exclusive Episodes
At least two new Patreon-exclusive podcast episodes every month. More stories, more opinions, more questionable wisdom, and plenty of things that probably shouldn’t be discussed in polite company.
2. Exclusive Blog Posts
Some stories are simply too good, too outrageous, or perhaps too politically incorrect for the public blog. These are reserved exclusively for Patreon supporters.
3. E-book: Dirty Old Man Short Stories
A collection of short stories, observations, anecdotes and other literary misdemeanours gathered from posts I’ve written over the years across various social media platforms.
Think of it as a greatest-hits collection, except the hits are mostly below the belt.
4. My Upcoming Book: How I Became a Dirty Old Man (like Bukowski)
Get access to the unfinished, continuously evolving version of my upcoming book.
This is a work in progress, and I’ll be adding new chapters every week until the book is complete. You’ll get to follow the whole process, read the latest material as it appears, and witness the literary disaster unfold in real time.
The final edition may include revisions, additions and improvements. Or perhaps I’ll just make it longer and pretend that’s what writers do.
5. Bonus Podcast Material – Without the Commercial Breaks
Some of my podcasts are also published on Spotify and other platforms. As a Patreon supporter, you can enjoy these episodes here without advertisements.
You’ll also get access to their transcripts, so you can read along, revisit your favourite passages, or simply pretend you’re studying serious literature.
6. Coming Soon: Ask the Dirty Old Man
I’m planning to introduce a Q&A section where you can ask me questions directly. You can also suggest topics for future blog posts and podcast episodes.
No promises that I’ll have sensible answers. In fact, sensible answers are rather unlikely. But I’ll do my best to entertain you.
Why become a supporter?
Because independent content takes time, effort, and occasionally a questionable amount of alcohol and caffeine.
Your support helps me keep writing, recording, telling stories and generally behaving in ways that would make a respectable literary society nervous.
And in return, you get exclusive content, early access to my upcoming book, extra stories and a front-row seat to the ongoing adventures of a man who clearly hasn’t learned his lesson.
So, come on in. The public gets the polite version. Patreon gets the unfiltered one.
After all, growing old is inevitable. Growing up is entirely optional.
Welcome to the club.
Please note that everything is available only in English, at least for now.