Being alone can affect your psyche in the strangest ways imaginable. I’ve been single for a long time. I enjoy being single and have no desire to be in a relationship. But yesterday, when a couple of friends were visiting the Helsinki metropolitan area and came to stay the night at my place, I discovered … Read more
I bought clothes drying rack in your store. It came in a compact package, so I knew it required assembly. Luckily, a pretty good assembly manual was included. However, I would like to point out a few minor details that might need adjustment.First: in picture A2, pipes 6 and 7 are exactly the same length. … Read more
I had a premonition about my own death. In the dream, I was in a hospital, hooked up to a ventilator — and then my teenage son unplugged it so he could charge his phone. Should’ve used a condom
Jane became single and joined a singles group on Facebook. Because Tinder is full of dishonest and phoney people. After six months, she was really pissed off. She had a date with one guy who said he was a teetotaler, but was drunk when they met. Another guy said he would never date more than … Read more
(This is from my upcoming book “How I Became a Dirty Old Man (like Bukowski)”) Finally, my daughter came back and picked up that demon mutt. Sparky wagged his tail and leapt into her arms like an angel, as if he hadn’t spent three days turning my flat into a war crime scene. She kissed … Read more
My good friend John found a woman, Jane, on Tinder. After a couple of dates, they met at John’s apartment. After a nice dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, they went to the bedroom, took their clothes off, and it so happened that John couldn’t get an erection. This happens to almost all … Read more
Since people were asking for relationship advice, here’s another little gem. Before you get into a relationship, invite your future mother-in-law over to your place to watch a movie. Nothing reveals a person’s true character quite like watching a film together. And no matter how hard you try to avoid it, once you’re in a … Read more
Recently, I gave women advice on how to impress a man on a first date. Now for the follow-up: how to make sure he doesn’t disappear into thin air once he’s gotten laid—aka, the guide to a perfect first time. Once you’ve got the man back at your place and decided it’s time to get … Read more
For women who want to make a lasting impression on a man on a date. Don’t overthink it. Men are simple creatures, and most of them get excited about the same things. These will work on almost any man (and if they don’t, you can forget him immediately; he’s not the real deal). You’re guaranteed … Read more
Already when I was young, I learned that nothing makes sex better than when your partner looks you straight in the eyes and says, “I love you.” The incredible feeling that comes from that is truly beyond words. It lifts sex to entirely new dimensions and makes it so much better. For decades I’ve thought … Read more
