life
Friday night went on a bit longer than planned. On Saturday morning, my phone alarm went off: “Pick up laundry from the laundry room.” I was still half asleep, so I threw on some clothes and headed down to the communal laundry room. The machines were still running, with just over 15 minutes left. I … Read more
It’s almost impossible to impress me anymore. I’ve seen and heard it all. And yet, today, it happened. In a supermarket. Between the beer shelves. I heard something so extraordinary that the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, a tear welled up in the corner of my eye, and I wanted to … Read more
I bought clothes drying rack in your store. It came in a compact package, so I knew it required assembly. Luckily, a pretty good assembly manual was included. However, I would like to point out a few minor details that might need adjustment.First: in picture A2, pipes 6 and 7 are exactly the same length. … Read more
My good friend John found a woman, Jane, on Tinder. After a couple of dates, they met at John’s apartment. After a nice dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, they went to the bedroom, took their clothes off, and it so happened that John couldn’t get an erection. This happens to almost all … Read more
A childhood friend from up north was staying the night. He’s got a date today with some woman and was really excited — thought he might get lucky. Naturally, I’m happy for him. Before heading out, he asked if he could borrow my electric shaver. After he’d left, I went into the bathroom and noticed … Read more
A friend recommended a type of cheese I hadn’t tried before—Cantal, from Lidl. That evening, I sliced a piece onto a salt cracker and settled on the couch to watch a movie. In the dark, I almost knocked over my wineglass, and as I grabbed it, the cheese fell to the floor. According to the … Read more
This happened over 20 years ago. I was at the Heureka Science Centre with my kids. There was a microscope set up where you could look at bull sperm. Next to it was a sign that said, “Live sperm available from the guide.” I turned to the gentleman standing nearby and asked, “Could we get … Read more
I’ve just learned that a fake AI-generated advertisement is being circulated on social media using my name. It’s a vile attempt to deceive people by exploiting my good reputation. In this ad, a character impersonating me promotes an unbelievably profitable cryptocurrency investment, promising returns of thousands of percent annually. Worse yet, the character offers women … Read more
Today was my first time taking a drug test. Not the fun kind where they try different substances—the kind where you pee in a cup while a nurse watches you like a hawk, then they analyze it to see if you’ve been using. I prepared thoroughly. Drank lots of water, avoided the bathroom, and came … Read more
I did once. I went to a bar, and there at the counter sat a truly stunning woman. Like a doll – very delicate and an incredibly beautiful face. So naturally, I sat down next to her, tried to look manly, and asked, “May I buy you a drink?” The lady got annoyed and gave … Read more
