A childhood friend from up north was staying the night. He’s got a date today with some woman and was really excited — thought he might get lucky. Naturally, I’m happy for him. Before heading out, he asked if he could borrow my electric shaver. After he’d left, I went into the bathroom and noticed … Read more
A friend recommended a type of cheese I hadn’t tried before—Cantal, from Lidl. That evening, I sliced a piece onto a salt cracker and settled on the couch to watch a movie. In the dark, I almost knocked over my wineglass, and as I grabbed it, the cheese fell to the floor. According to the … Read more
This happened over 20 years ago. I was at the Heureka Science Centre with my kids. There was a microscope set up where you could look at bull sperm. Next to it was a sign that said, “Live sperm available from the guide.” I turned to the gentleman standing nearby and asked, “Could we get … Read more
I’ve just learned that a fake AI-generated advertisement is being circulated on social media using my name. It’s a vile attempt to deceive people by exploiting my good reputation. In this ad, a character impersonating me promotes an unbelievably profitable cryptocurrency investment, promising returns of thousands of percent annually. Worse yet, the character offers women … Read more
Today was my first time taking a drug test. Not the fun kind where they try different substances—the kind where you pee in a cup while a nurse watches you like a hawk, then they analyze it to see if you’ve been using. I prepared thoroughly. Drank lots of water, avoided the bathroom, and came … Read more
I did once. I went to a bar, and there at the counter sat a truly stunning woman. Like a doll – very delicate and an incredibly beautiful face. So naturally, I sat down next to her, tried to look manly, and asked, “May I buy you a drink?” The lady got annoyed and gave … Read more
At last, the long-awaited first kid-free break of the year has arrived. It’s only been a few hours, and I’ve already ticked off my carefully curated bucket list of guilty pleasures: Ripped open a bag of candy as loudly as possible, then abandoned it on the living room table. Went to the bathroom with the … Read more
Last summer I was on vacation in Venice. Over 30 degrees Celsius (86 F) every day. My groin was sweating so much that after walking all day, by the evening the folds of my groin were chafed completely red. Now I’m planning to go to Italy again. Having learned from last summer’s experiences, I googled … Read more
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