My friend John had been thinking that it might be nice to get a little frisky with his wife, Jane, in the evening, so he decided to send her a romantic and slightly naughty message from work, wondering if he might get lucky tonight. He had read in some womenโ€™s magazine that itโ€™s a good idea to warm a woman up gradually throughout the day so that she gets into the right mood.

Jane replied, โ€œMaybe if you did some housework once in a while, you might get lucky.โ€
Not a promising start, but John didnโ€™t get discouraged. He kept sending messages throughout the day, but the replies from his wife just got increasingly snarkyโ€”and sure enough, it turned into a proper argument, even though John was trying his best.

Rough around the edges, John came to ask me for advice, since Iโ€™m a bit more experienced with women. I asked him to send me the conversation, and I had it analyzed by artificial intelligence so we could get an objective take on how this could still be turned into a win.

The AI crunched the data for a while and then delivered its analysis. According to it, 92% of Jane’s statements were illogical, 97% were irrelevant to the matter at hand, and her comments contained 14 grammar mistakes (with suggested corrections).

John was excited and said heโ€™d show this analysis to Jane as soon as he got homeโ€”and then the sparks would surely fly under the sheets.

I havenโ€™t heard from John in three days.
Theyโ€™ve probably been having sex nonstop this whole time.

Oh hi there ๐Ÿ‘‹
Itโ€™s nice to meet you.

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