NSFW-warning. According to a study, more than 90% of divorced women say that men who do house chores (especially cooking) and who are able to talk about their romantic feelings are the most desirable and… Read More »Giving women what they deserve
A friend recommended a type of cheese I hadn’t tried before — Cantal, from Lidl. That evening, I sliced a piece onto a salt cracker and settled on the couch to watch a movie. In… Read More »Cheese
When I turned 40, my wife woke me with a passionate kiss, wished me a happy birthday, and said she had an unforgettable surprise for me. I was absolutely buzzing. During the day at work,… Read More »When I turned 40 my wife wanted to give me the best gift a man can get
Shoe shopping with teenage girl: we visit every shop in an enormous shopping mall. Shoe shops twice, some three times, milk shake bar once, chocolatery once, all other clothing shops at least once. After two… Read More »Shopping with teens
My human lies there, even though I’ve been standing near the bed whining sweetly for at least three minutes. Finally he gets up, sighs, and says, “Could’ve slept in longer this weekend.” Well yes, but… Read More »From the Dog’s Diary: Breakfast
This happened over 20 years ago. I was at the Heureka Science Centre with my kids. There was a microscope set up where you could look at bull sperm. Next to it was a sign that said, “Live sperm available from the guide.”
SCAM WARNING!
I’ve just learned that a fake AI-generated advertisement is being circulated on social media using my name. It’s a vile attempt to deceive people by exploiting my good reputation.
Today was my first time taking a drug test. Not the fun kind where they try different substances — the kind where you pee in a cup while a nurse watches you like a hawk, then they analyse it to see if you’ve been using
I did once. I went to a bar, and there at the counter sat a truly stunning woman. Like a doll – very delicate and incredibly beautiful face. So naturally, I sat down next to… Read More »Have you ever gotten punched in a bar?
Competition for women: unforgettable romantic weekend getaway to London
Single dad’s free time at last
I once had a girlfriend. I told her, “You’re wonderful.” she replied, “Words don’t matter — only actions do.” I told her, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” she replied,… Read More »Only Actions Matter
I received a letter by email saying that some criminal had managed to hack into my computer. He claimed to have seen from my browser history that I had visited porn sites and had even… Read More »Blackmail victim
I was reading my diary, reminiscing about old dates. There is one I’ll never forget: I’m really pissed off. Tinder. Do I need to say more? I’ll tell you anyway. I found a woman on… Read More »Tinder is shitty game
I’ve been trying to build a force field like the ones seen in sci-fi movies for over a decade. Now I believe I’ve succeeded. I used a lesser-known “Breaking Bad” variation of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle… Read More »Breakthrough in Force Field Technology
Last summer I was on vacation in Venice. Over 30 degrees Celsius (86 F) every day. My groin was sweating so much that after walking all day, by the evening the folds of my groin… Read More »Absolut horror
From now on, I won’t talk about romantic things to them. I’m going to rely on science. When I get a woman to stay overnight, I wait until she’s asleep, and then put a nicotine… Read More »How to keep a woman
My friend Matti had been thinking that it might be nice to get a little frisky with his wife Maija in the evening, so he decided to send her a romantic and slightly naughty message… Read More »AI is the best invention ever!
One of my ex-wives had an annoying habit. Now and then, when I was watching TV in the evening, she kissed me on the cheek and said, “I’m going to bed”. And I mean around… Read More »Ex-wife and bedtime
When I do rarer household chores; changing lightbulbs, cleaning dishwasher filters, assembling furniture, etc I often ask my teenage son to help me. I always say, “You should learn to do these things, so you… Read More »Working with teen
Flight delayed. Teenager cranky. I pay an arm and a leg to get to the lounge with the buffet. I tell my son “Now eat as much as you want, so we don’t have to… Read More »Flight delayed
I sat at the park, when I saw and elderly couple nearby, having picnic. Man was probably over 80, and woman not much younger. They were sitting there on a blanket, feeding grapes each… Read More »Young love
In an elevator, woman, 20 years younger than me, downstairs neighbour, said “your fly is open”. First words that came out of my mouth, were “Don’t panic. Gates are open but beast is asleep”.
After a bad night’s sleep, I get up and start making coffee. While waiting, I think I’ll eat the last ice pop I’ve been saving. Maybe it will cheer me up. Then I notice that… Read More »Teen and a freezer
Jane notices at the Facebook singles group, that John has written interesting stories. Jane thinks it would be really nice, if John would send her a message. But John hasn’t noticed Jane, and thus doesn’t… Read More »Jane and a bear
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