My friend Matti had been thinking that it might be nice to get a little frisky with his wife Maija in the evening, so he decided to send her a romantic and slightly naughty message from work, wondering if he might get lucky tonight. He had read in some women’s magazine that it’s a good idea to warm a woman up gradually throughout the day, so that she gets into the right mood.
Maija replied, “Maybe if you did some housework once in a while, you might get lucky.”
Not a promising start, but Matti didn’t get discouraged. He kept sending messages throughout the day, but the replies from his wife just got increasingly snarky — and sure enough, it turned into a proper argument, even though Matti was trying his best.
Rough around the edges, Matti came to ask me for advice, since I’m a bit more experienced with women. I asked him to send me the conversation, and I had it analyzed by artificial intelligence, so we could get an objective take on how this could still be turned into a win.
The AI crunched the data for a while and then delivered its analysis. According to it, 92% of Maija’s statements were illogical, 97% were irrelevant to the matter at hand, and her comments contained 14 grammar mistakes (with suggested corrections).
Matti was excited and said he’d show this analysis to Maija as soon as he got home — and then the sparks would surely fly under the sheets.
I haven’t heard from Matti in three days.
They’ve probably been having sex non-stop this whole time.