Kakka juttu

I came home after shopping. At the staircase, I noticed a distinct smell of shit. My neighbor was clearly drunk and waiting for the elevator. In an elevator, the smell got really bad. I couldn’t help myself; I looked at him disapprovingly and said, “I guess someone has pooped his pants.” He looked confused and … Lue lisää

Heureka

This happened over 20 years ago. I was at the Heureka Science Centre with my kids. There was a microscope set up where you could look at bull sperm. Next to it was a sign that said, “Live sperm available from the guide.” I turned to the gentleman standing nearby and asked, “Could we get … Lue lisää

HUIJAUSVAROITUS!

I’ve just learned that a fake AI-generated advertisement is being circulated on social media using my name. It’s a vile attempt to deceive people by exploiting my good reputation. In this ad, a character impersonating me promotes an unbelievably profitable cryptocurrency investment, promising returns of thousands of percent annually. Worse yet, the character offers women … Lue lisää

Huumetestissä

Today was my first time taking a drug test. Not the fun kind where they try different substances—the kind where you pee in a cup while a nurse watches you like a hawk, then they analyze it to see if you’ve been using. I prepared thoroughly. Drank lots of water, avoided the bathroom, and came … Lue lisää

Kiristyksen uhri

I received a letter by email saying that a criminal had managed to hack into my computer. He claimed to have seen from my browser history that I had visited porn sites and had even recorded me via my computer’s camera while I was touching myself. He then threatened that if I didn’t pay, he … Lue lisää

Hississä

Hississä itseäni noin 20 vuotta nuorempi nainen, alakerran naapuri, huomautti että ”sinulla on housujen vetskari auki”, ja ensimmäiset sanat, jotka tulivat ulos suustani, olivat ”ei hätää, talli on auki, mutta peto nukkuu”.