Iloinen jälleennäkeminen piristi päiväni

Ten years ago, I was in a relationship with a woman. She left me cruelly. The breakup was anything but pretty—terrible fights, and she badmouthed me to all my friends. Today, I happened to run into her at the shopping mall. I have to admit, it was really nice to see her after all these … Lue lisää

Kakka juttu

I came home after shopping. At the staircase, I noticed a distinct smell of shit. My neighbor was clearly drunk and waiting for the elevator. In an elevator, the smell got really bad. I couldn’t help myself; I looked at him disapprovingly and said, “I guess someone has pooped his pants.” He looked confused and … Lue lisää

Partakone

A childhood friend from up north was staying the night. He’s got a date today with some woman and was really excited — thought he might get lucky. Naturally, I’m happy for him. Before heading out, he asked if he could borrow my electric shaver. After he’d left, I went into the bathroom and noticed … Lue lisää

Huoltajuusriita

Have you thought carefully about what was most terrible in your previous relationships so that you can avoid it in your current or future relationship? For me, the worst thing was a terrible custody battle after the divorce. We fought tooth and nail over who the children would live with after the divorce. And of … Lue lisää

Vanhoissa naisissa ärsyttää

One thing about old women annoys me immensely. Let me explain. I went to a bar yesterday, like I sometimes do on Saturday nights. I was peacefully sipping my drink at the counter when suddenly one of those old women showed up. Clearly had more than a few drinks already, wearing ridiculously trashy makeup (definitely … Lue lisää

Kategoriat sex

Juusto

A friend recommended a type of cheese I hadn’t tried before—Cantal, from Lidl. That evening, I sliced a piece onto a salt cracker and settled on the couch to watch a movie. In the dark, I almost knocked over my wineglass, and as I grabbed it, the cheese fell to the floor. According to the … Lue lisää

Teinien kanssa shoppailemassa

Shoe shopping with a teenage girl: we visit every shop in an enormous shopping mall. Shoe shops twice, some three times, milkshake bar once, chocolatery once, and all other clothing shops at least once. After two and a half hours, we find a nice summer dress, which—of course—she can’t wear this autumn anymore, but it’s … Lue lisää

Koiran päiväkirjasta: aamiainen

My human just lies there, even though I’ve been standing next to the bed whining sweetly for at least three minutes. Finally, he gets up, sighs, and says, “Could’ve slept in longer this weekend.” Well, yes, but I want to go outside! I trot to the front door to wait while he gets dressed like … Lue lisää

Kategoriat dog

Heureka

This happened over 20 years ago. I was at the Heureka Science Centre with my kids. There was a microscope set up where you could look at bull sperm. Next to it was a sign that said, “Live sperm available from the guide.” I turned to the gentleman standing nearby and asked, “Could we get … Lue lisää

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