I came home after shopping. At the staircase, I noticed a distinct smell of shit. My neighbor was clearly drunk and waiting for the elevator. In an elevator, the smell got really bad. I couldn’t help myself; I looked at him disapprovingly and said, “I guess someone has pooped his pants.” He looked confused and … Read more
This happened over 20 years ago. I was at the Heureka Science Centre with my kids. There was a microscope set up where you could look at bull sperm. Next to it was a sign that said, “Live sperm available from the guide.” I turned to the gentleman standing nearby and asked, “Could we get … Read more
I’ve just learned that a fake AI-generated advertisement is being circulated on social media using my name. It’s a vile attempt to deceive people by exploiting my good reputation. In this ad, a character impersonating me promotes an unbelievably profitable cryptocurrency investment, promising returns of thousands of percent annually. Worse yet, the character offers women … Read more
Today was my first time taking a drug test. Not the fun kind where they try different substances—the kind where you pee in a cup while a nurse watches you like a hawk, then they analyze it to see if you’ve been using. I prepared thoroughly. Drank lots of water, avoided the bathroom, and came … Read more
I received a letter by email saying that a criminal had managed to hack into my computer. He claimed to have seen from my browser history that I had visited porn sites and had even recorded me via my computer’s camera while I was touching myself. He then threatened that if I didn’t pay, he … Read more
In the elevator, a woman about twenty years younger than me—a downstairs neighbor—pointed out, “Your fly is open.” And the first words that came out of my mouth were, “No worries—the garage is open, but the beast is sleeping.”
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