{"id":79,"date":"2025-09-03T14:49:54","date_gmt":"2025-09-03T14:49:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/?p=79"},"modified":"2025-10-15T15:11:19","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T12:11:19","slug":"in-the-elevator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/in-the-elevator\/","title":{"rendered":"In the Elevator"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>In the elevator, a woman about twenty years younger than me\u2014a downstairs neighbor\u2014pointed out, \u201cYour fly is open.\u201d And the first words that came out of my mouth were, \u201cNo worries\u2014the garage is open, but the beast is sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-contrast-3-color\"><strong><em>Get NordVPN 75% off + 3 extra months, and stay anonymous &amp; safe. If you <a href=\"https:\/\/nordvpn.tpo.li\/E5UJRJrS\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow sponsored\">click here<\/a> and buy, I may get some beer money, at no extra cost to you.<\/em><\/strong><\/mark><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:100px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<ins style=\"width: 0px;height:0px\" data-width=\"0\" data-height=\"0\" class=\"n15ca45d7be\" data-domain=\"\/\/data527.click\" data-affquery=\"\/86ab3df83ebe0d7b35a4\/15ca45d7be\/?placementName=default\"><script src=\"\/\/data527.click\/js\/responsive.js\" async><\/script><\/ins>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4nh1vrC\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\" noreferrer noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"720\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner.webp\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-346\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner.webp 720w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner-300x150.webp 300w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner-18x9.webp 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the elevator, a woman about twenty years younger than me\u2014a downstairs neighbor\u2014pointed out, \u201cYour fly is open.\u201d And the first words that came out of my mouth were, \u201cNo worries\u2014the garage is open, but the beast is sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ashamed"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1493,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions\/1493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}