{"id":279,"date":"2025-09-06T11:03:11","date_gmt":"2025-09-06T08:03:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/?p=279"},"modified":"2025-10-15T15:03:02","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T12:03:02","slug":"poop-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/poop-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Poop story"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I came home after shopping. At the staircase, I noticed a distinct smell of shit. My neighbor was clearly drunk and waiting for the elevator. In an elevator, the smell got really bad. I couldn\u2019t help myself; I looked at him disapprovingly and said, \u201cI guess someone has pooped his pants.\u201d He looked confused and answered, \u201cI guess so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I got into my apartment, I could still smell that shit. Then I noticed there was dog shit on the bottom of my shoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can\u2019t wait for the next time I see him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-contrast-3-color\"><strong><em>Get NordVPN 75% off + 3 extra months, and stay anonymous &amp; safe. If you <a href=\"https:\/\/nordvpn.tpo.li\/E5UJRJrS\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow sponsored\">click here<\/a> and buy, I may get some beer money, at no extra cost to you.<\/em><\/strong><\/mark><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:61px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Only for 3 Euros<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-wp-embed is-provider-dirty-old-man-blog wp-block-embed-dirty-old-man-blog\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"7nS1c43aXH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/funniest-ebook\/\">Funniest eBook?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&#8220;Funniest eBook?&#8221; &#8212; Dirty Old Man Blog\" src=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/funniest-ebook\/embed\/#?secret=srShh8uTQI#?secret=7nS1c43aXH\" data-secret=\"7nS1c43aXH\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop-1024x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-353\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop-1024x1024.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop-300x300.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop-768x768.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop-12x12.jpeg 12w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/cartoon_with_steaming_pile_of_dog_poop.jpeg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4nh1vrC\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\" noreferrer noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"720\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner.webp\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-346\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner.webp 720w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner-300x150.webp 300w, https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/AmazonPrimeBanner-18x9.webp 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I came home after shopping. At the staircase, I noticed a distinct smell of shit. My neighbor was clearly drunk and waiting for the elevator. In an elevator, the smell got really bad. I couldn\u2019t help myself; I looked at him disapprovingly and said, \u201cI guess someone has pooped his pants.\u201d He looked confused and &#8230; <a title=\"Poop story\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/poop-story\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Poop story\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ashamed"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=279"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1469,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions\/1469"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=279"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=279"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=279"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}