{"id":203,"date":"2025-09-04T18:35:49","date_gmt":"2025-09-04T18:35:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/?p=203"},"modified":"2025-10-15T15:05:10","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T12:05:10","slug":"from-the-dogs-diary-breakfast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/from-the-dogs-diary-breakfast\/","title":{"rendered":"From the Dog\u2019s Diary: Breakfast"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My human just lies there, even though I\u2019ve been standing next to the bed whining sweetly for at least three minutes. Finally, he gets up, sighs, and says, \u201cCould\u2019ve slept in longer this weekend.\u201d Well, yes, but I want to go outside!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I trot to the front door to wait while he gets dressed like he\u2019s in a slow-motion movie. Move those joints, buddy. After an eternity, we\u2019re outside. The sun\u2019s shining, birds are singing, and there are glorious scents of pee everywhere\u2014this is living. \ud83d\ude0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only downside is my human keeps asking, \u201cAren\u2019t you going to poop yet?\u201d Nope. Eventually, he gives up, and we head home. I\u2019m already thinking about breakfast\u2014hoping there\u2019s still some of that smoked ham from yesterday; it was amazing. Kibble? Not happening. Unless there\u2019s cheese sauce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we get home, I sprint to my empty food bowl like it\u2019s urgent business. As always, I have to wait for my human. Now he\u2019s wiping muddy pawprints instead of feeding a small, starving dog. He has no grasp of priorities. I sigh deeply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, he comes to the kitchen and puts my favorite meal in the microwave. More waiting. But then, the sweet smell of ham floods my nostrils as the fridge opens. Maybe this will be a good day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, horror strikes. The teenage boy emerges from his cave into the kitchen. A creeping dread fills me. I stare at him, praying, \u201cDon\u2019t say it, don\u2019t say it\u2026\u201d But of course, fate is cruel. He looks at my human, opens his mouth, and says the words I feared: \u201cI already gave him breakfast a couple of hours ago when we came in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crap. No second breakfast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My human gives me the death stare and yells, \u201cAGAIN!!!\u201d I slink into the living room, trying to look as innocent as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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My human just lies there, even though I\u2019ve been standing next to the bed whining sweetly for at least three minutes. Finally, he gets up, sighs, and says, \u201cCould\u2019ve slept in longer this weekend.\u201d Well, yes, but I want to go outside! I trot to the front door to wait while he gets dressed like … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=203"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1476,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203\/revisions\/1476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}