Once, with my girlfriend (about 20 years ago), we were about to have sex. We were already naked in bed, kissing, the foreplay was done, and we were ready to go \u2014 when I remembered that the condoms were in the bathroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I went to get them, and then thought I\u2019d grab a drink from the kitchen while I was at it. I took a soda from the fridge and noticed there was some ham (it was around Christmas time), so I made myself a ham sandwich and sat down to eat it. There was a magazine on the table, so I started reading it too. About fifteen minutes passed \u2014 I was already eating my second sandwich \u2014 when my girlfriend came out of the bedroom, naked, looked at me for a moment to see what I was doing, and then started screaming like a siren.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Once, with my girlfriend (about 20 years ago), we were about to have sex. We were already naked in bed, kissing, the foreplay was done, and we were ready to go \u2014 when I remembered that the condoms were in the bathroom. I went to get them, and then thought I\u2019d grab a drink from … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1497"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1497\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1499,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1497\/revisions\/1499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dirtyoldman.blog\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}